I went to work today! The people are kind of nice and
telemarketing is… telemarketing. Actually it’s not terrible. Most numbers don’t
answer and I only had one person yell at me. And really, I've had worse. Since
it was my first day my only job was to get one person to sign on and donate to
the cause. The cause being preventing the government from letting Adani, an
Indian coal mining company plow through the Great Barrier Reef for more mining
channels and evil greedy deeds.
Sometimes you really get to know a person and talk to them
on the phone. That’s kind of the point, you’re encouraged to stay on the phone
with someone for a while to chat about their day. I flirted pretty well with
one girl, but she knew I was eventually going to ask for money so after about 5
minutes she hung up with a gush and a blush.
Another guy was an “entrepreneur”, he said he was designed
some kind of stunt motorbike, and was working on something else I dunno I
couldn't hear very well. That was a problem, I’m def partially deaf, from
listening and playing music so loudly. There’s just something in every
guitarist that wants to turn all the knobs all the way up. And in every singer
that wants to just wail.
So this guy’s name is Stef (it’s probably fine that I say
that), and we blathered on about him, and he saw a snake and yadda yadda yadda.
And I was so close to making a sale, and it’s been like a half hour. And I get
him to get out his account number. But then the phone clicks. And I’m like
there’s no way he was hanging up on me he was just about to give me it. So I
call him back but it goes straight to voice mail and I’m desperately dialing
over and over but I just can’t get through. Cuz it’s the end of the day and I
just need to make one donation. But I never got to him again.
So the day ends and they say I have to make one donation by
5pm tomorrow or I’m out.
I kind of think it’s a fake threat. To motivate me ya know?
They’re sales people so maybe not the best managers. For me at least.
I moved rooms and now I share a room with a lion. I fall asleep
before the lion comes home but at 5:30am sharp the lion starts to roar. And he
doesn't roar regularly. He likes to wait 1-2 minutes and then he erupts. It’s
not just the sound that keeps me awake, it’s the anticipation of the sound.
Because I expect it at a certain time, and then when it doesn't come I’m wrong
and I feel bad, and it drives me nuts.
I went to work again. I didn't get a donation. I was fired.
I was pretty happy about it though. I didn't expect to keep
the job and I didn't really like it. 5pm rolled around and then my manager was
like “Well time is up” and I got my things and I walked out. There’s that
episode of Friends where somebody is like “Everybody’s been fired, it has to
happen eventually.” I’m just following through on the prophecy.
I found a Zambrero in Melby! While searching for jobs in the
lib, I got hungry so I searched for food instead. And I found a nearby Cipotle
imitator and I scrabbled out the door.
A man in suit looked at my driver’s license while I paid and
asked “What kind of driver’s license is that?” I told him I was from the US.
We ate at the same table and he made a quip about sitting
with me or the heavy set woman in the back. I made a fat joke. He laughed. We
talked. I started fishing. His phone was ringing a lot so I asked him what he
did and he’s the manager of a number of magazines that all deal with vehicles.
Cars, trucks, boats, you get it. Hence him asking about my license.
Anyway he asked for a CV. And we did a sort of informal
interview. But he asked a pretty basic question after reading my resume. “OK but what do you do?” Great
question. I don’t actually do anything. I don’t have any skills. I’m not an
engineer or programmer or diver. I don’t have a trade. I’m not specialized. I
can do anything. Or nothing depending on your perspective.
So he left but said he’d ask the office if he could find a
place for me. He said he might call. He never called.
It's been like 2 months with no income and constant searching. I'm pretty close to giving up and packing it in. It's really really hard to get a job. Any job at all. I think most of the problem is being an immigrant with no real qualifications.
The worst part is that every day I spend in the library looking for a job is a day I'm not really experiencing Australia. I'm just staying in staring at a computer screen.
But Lo and Behold, I got a chance. I’m some kind of digital
marketing assistant for Forex brokerage. It’s a big boy job. But, it was
advertised as an unpaid internship for 3 months. In the interview I got it down
to a month. And on my first day I got it down to two weeks. Two weeks till full
time employment and possible sponsorship.
It’s good work too. I’m making websites and learning a
little. If you told me a year ago that in a year I’d be working on websites for
some finance firm that I don’t totally understand I probably would've said
“Party on” and I would've meant it.
In the meantime I’m working as a carnie for a festival that’s
in town. I’m the guy that stands and takes tickets in front of the roller
coaster. I have to make sure no one dies. I’m a little nervous. That’s a bad
headline “American Lets 20 Children Die on Carnival Rollercoaster”. So I’ll do
my best to prevent that.
