The streets are all backwards here. You gotta look opposites
to know which way the cars are coming. I could never drive around here. You
drive on the left side of the road. The driver’s car seats are in the left
seat. Even the dogs go left paw first.
Everyone here is so fit and runs! Like every dude is a buff
tattooed bearded tan hipster. The chicks have better arms than me. It’s
intimidating.
So I went to a beach with a Finnish couple. They’re blonde,
like double me blonde. I’m embarrassed really. The guy was bubbly as a preteen
but the girl I didn’t think even knew English. But she was just quiet. Eurro in
Finnish.
We took a taxi home with a Maori guy. He was from New
Zealand and bragging about how the Moari’s were the only colored people not
conquered by the English. They were given like 2 billion dollars by the
government. History by a taxi driver. He would also speak with a New Zealand
Maori accent and it straight up sounded like a different language.
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I went on a walking tour cuz some girl said I should go
while we ate breakfast. On the tour I basically learned that Australia was a
country that just sorta winged it. Obvi everyone knows it was colonized by
convicts. But then they made all this weird decisions. Like the first hospital
was funded by a Rum business. But it collapsed in a few days cuz they built it
drunk. And they have statues that are just
like “yea whatever that’s fine”. Like this one governor really liked the French
and changed his name to something like “Jaquez je Jacques” and he hired a
French sculptor to make this fountain to describe the growing relationship
between Australia and France during World War One. But the sculptor was really
into Greek mythology so there’s a Minotaur in there and it’s all very Grecian
and it just makes no sense. But the gov was just like yea ok that’ll work.
And they have this one statue just of a dog that was famous
for chasing rats. Its name was Biggles and it has its own statue! And it’s like
20 feet away from a statue commemorating the first workers of the Rocks! It’s
just a dog! Next to the blue collar immigrant workers that built the city!
I went in for an interview as a sales rep for a marketing
company. One of those fluffy ones, that’s all “We engage consumers in all the
sense to get you the highest rate of return”. Which is all good and important
stuff, but just seems like there’s no substance behind it. Anyway it’s not my
number one job pick but they did get to me first, so I dressed like I wanted
the offer but not the job. They had all us applicants in one room and I did my
interview with another guy too. Poor guy, he didn’t stand a chance. But it was
a little silly, and we waited for so long I thought they were studying us from
behind a mirrored window or something. Say It Aint So by Weezer came on the
radio.
I used a public bathroom today. It was on the street and it’s
just like a little room. It had automatic doors and a sink that did soap and
water and dried all in one. It was super futuristic, like the suicide booths in
Futurama.
There are big fruit bats in Sydney and at night they’re
forced out by these sonic sounders cuz they eat too many bugs or something. But
they all come out at dusk and they’re
big big bats. So there’s like a million little bat signals every night up in
the sky.
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So I got the follow up interview with the marketing company. I was supposed to follow someone around and they were supposed to evaluate me as they did their job. So we went to a cafe, but as they explained their process I quickly realized this was basically door to door for B2B.
And I don't think I'm above any job. I was rationalizing things in my head during the training. I'm not better than this. I don't have anything against sales. In fact I think I'm pretty good at convincing people of things if I believe in the idea. I once got a guy to buy a 29 gallon fish tank(Hi Marc!) cuz I love fish. That's a 3 year commitment with outward cashflows and like zero reward depending on who you are.
But I didn't love the job. I also didn't have to do this. I have money for now. I have other opportunities. I don't want this job.
So I thanked them and then went into an awkward break up monologue. She explained that it wasn't door to door but I could leave if I wanted. I wanted so I thanked them again and walked out.
And man was I feeling on top of the world then! I skipped on home and changed my whole day to beach day.
I've been going veggie since I got here. I suppose the reason for veggie is that I love efficiency and having an animal consume your food first is inefficient. And I did it now cuz I think it's easier to change dietary habits now while everything else is changing as well.
Except I broke that rule for one Australian thing. Kangaroo!
Apparently it's pretty common here to eat kangaroo. So I went to the store to get some. But the guy there said that it's the rainy season up north where the 'roos come from. And they can't drive their trucks as far cuz of the slop. So there's a shortage of 'roo meat and all he has is the mince. Well color me hungry cuz I have no idea what mince is and I'll take a bag of that!
I'm sure mince is like the hotdog meat of the Australian English world but I don't know for sure so I'm just gonna eat it and be happy.
